Namaste, Lisa Dawn, I envy you all the events and people you must meet at the cycling events you talked about. I've been pretty much a lone rider, except when I go to SanAngelo and ride with Tony. One of my goals is to enter an event. I've had opportunities, but shyness, ego, dollars, prevent me so far. I've shown the universe my intention though! There are small hills around here. Some pretty steep, (subjective). South, towards SanAngelo, though, are some bigger hills ( mile or more of grade). I took my west loop today. Got a late start so only did sixteen miles. Averaged twenty mph. I have started running, at lunchtime, on the treadmill to increase my endurance, and have been standing up and attacking the hills. I try to gain speed going up. Theres one hill that I have to go down to small chainring, and third to climb. When I first started two years ago it was first gear and eight to nine mph at the top. Today I made it at seventeen mph. Course I thought I was going to pass out after I topped the hill. Ha. The first year and a half I rode an old BCA twelve speed with inch and a quarter tires. Good conditioning! I got my new bike in January of this year. Since February I've put twenty four hundred plus on the road bike. I test rode a carbon bike before buying, but I guess I was too used to a rigid frame. It felt like riding a snake. Maybe on the next upgrade. Mine is an alloy. I had a twelve tooth small gear and replaced it with an eleven. Now its a fifty three x eleven gear ratio. I'm getting a fifty four large chainring soon. When you asked if it was a carbon, I decided to take a picture and put it on my page. Check it out. We're in a drought here. There were thunderstorm clouds in the west, and they were real pretty to look at on my ride. There was about a twenty mph crosswind, from the ssw. It was about ninety six degrees. The clouds hid the sun though, and it was a nice ride. I try to remember to thank God after every ride. There were times in my life that I would have given anything to have the freedom to get out on a lonesome country blacktop and just ride to be riding. Lots of cotton fields here. Mostly flat with rolling hills and caprock hills in the distance. Lots of mesquite covered pasture land to break the monotony of the fields. There was a haze in the distance, that hasn't been around in quite awhile. Heard some thunder, and saw one tall streak of lightning with bright white clouds behind it about a mile and a half away. Writing like this is a blessing. I journel. I have for a little over four years now, but lately I've noticed that the words are more about facts of the day, and not about how I felt. Blogging and reading interesting people, like you, here at Zaadz, is helping my mind to expand. (that almost sounded like i'm getting a big-head) ha. Thank you for your kind attention, Lisa Dawn. I like what you did with your page. Good pictures, cheerful to behold. Joy, Peace, and Love to you,                        jerry

I've been spending more and more time here in Zaadz land. My friend Di suggests visiting three  blogs and sharing with. I've been to several today, and I am full of positive energy, and peace of spirit because of it. Part of me wants to analyze this and say "well, it's good therapy", but I'd rather call it connecting to the Source. I believe the feeling of belonging, and connectedness to the human race, is the panacea (could'nt think of another word) for my feeling of dis-ease. I get medicine here. I pursue that feeling of connectedness about nine hours a week, within a fellowship. That is my discipline, this is more freeform. I am always looking for ways to evolve, and learn/grow in spirit, and Zaadz has been a joy to explore. No where else have I found great minds and souls laid bare for my inspection. I'm not always ready, or capable of assimilating what is here, but the more I expose myself, the more capable I become. I am in awe of the goodness of intent here. The exchange of ideas, and positive energy is what makes this so appealing to me. Zaadz is changing me, and as I change for the better, so does the world.                                   jerry

I have taken pleasure from being in and around Zaadz. I had never known places like this were around. I just never thought about it. I had seen the ad on the back of "Science of mind" magazine, but never gave it serious thought. My enlightened friend Tony turned me on to Zaadz. Since joining, I have expanded my mind along a fourth dimension. I didn't know places like "My Space" existed until after I belonged to Zaadz. I don't know much about "my space", but I thought, what's to prevent people with selfish motives from preying on the people there? One of the things that drew me to Zaadz was I had to submit intention to someone here to be "accepted". I think every one has some agenda, even if it's having no agenda, but from what I've seen and felt here the commonality is spiritual agenda. Faith in something, belief in pure goodness, and the urge to spread that goodness around are the norms here. I received an e-mail from one of my Zaadz friends this morning that struck a chord. A negative chord. Must be my ego. Anyway it was copied off an ad to protest the president. I'm not into politics. I'm not into religion. I'm not into controversy on this level, and to see something that distasteful first thing kinda brought up some old behavior. I e-mailed this person asking that nothing like this be sent to me, and removed them from my  friends list. I feel strongly that commercializing, or spreading selfish agendas, or trying to coerce belief on others takes away from the energy here. I have to be here for purely altruistic motives or the meaning is lost. I'm probably way too worked up about this. If someone can help put this into perspective for me, please give me a hand.     Peace all around,                                                       jerry

I've been roaming the halls of Zaadz looking for something. I dialogged last week, with several people here. I invited a couple of people to be friends, whom I felt a connection to. I read, and commented on several pod posts, and personal blogs. I felt connected, plugged in. I had a feeling of anticipation. Still do. This weekend I went to SanAngelo, to do my mini-vacation/spiritual retreat, and the continuity seems to be diminished regarding connection to ZaadZ. I'm not getting that feeling of connectedness I had last week. I've been here before. I know all I do is keep practicing, and I'll get somewhere else before long. I believe I'm not getting the fullness I felt last week is because I'm looking for it. It kinda reminds me of quantum physics, when you observe a particle, you change it with the energy it takes to observe it. When I'm on a search, I'm slightly negative on the energy scale. I'm trying to take energy, on a small scale. I'm subtly trying to recapture the peace, and feeling of wholeness, I felt talking to you last week. It goes back to my creedo, I have to try to give it away, to keep it. Knowing this on an intellectual level, doesn't make it easier for me to attain. I guess I need to try some meditation. Talking it through here seems to help also. Thank you for being there.                                       Much Peace.                             jerry

I'm writing this to share me with whomever. I'v stared at my last entry a couple of times, and even started to write once. I feel like I need to contribute something to Zaadz, and to me sharing me is what it's about. I also share me to other people's blogs. I try to uplift, and send positive energy to people I resonate to. Referring to my last post though, I have to be careful that there aren't any strings attached to my gifts of positivity. I receive blessings from acts of unconditional love, but I have to have unconditional love before I can give it away. My ego sometimes tricks me into thinking that telling someone kind things is spreading the love energy that is all, and in reality, ego just feels less than, and needs a lift up. I want to truly, unconditionally, give everyone, everywhere, peace, and fullfillment, but sometimes the truth is that I don't have it to give. I'm not depressed, or trying for sympathy, or feeling less than. I'm just trying to affirm the truth to this reality for me, through writing this. Is it wrong to wish, or intend good for others when I don't feel as happy and free as my words might imply? I just had a thought about my grandmother, that tells me no.  I found out later, as an adult, why she and my grandad slept in seperate rooms, and were never seen being affectionate to one another. Yet always she was giving, thoughtful, loving, kind, tolerant, and understanding to everyone around her. Even when I'm sure she felt less than, she never let it affect me, or anyone I ever saw. She was my mother Theresa. Maybe some of her is in me. I believe I am the accumulation of all my experiences, so am I not a part of her also? I have practiced a spiritual outlook on life for five years, thirteen days, now, and part of that is trying to help others feel better. I just don't want to be selfish, and self centered, because that leads to a fantasy reality that can kill me. Hope that wasn't too strong. I nearly took that off, but truth. I'm rambling, but sometimes I think unstructured thoughts show more of the truth, than letting the different me's get ahold of it. I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. ha. I really and truly wish to give whatever peace energy I may have to all who need it. Thank you all for being there. My soul to yours.                      jerry

I joined Zaadz on July fourth, this year. I experienced a good feeling from touching so many good souls here. I had joy exploring all the new ways to contribute, and expressing spiritual energy from electronic dialogue. For three weeks I felt compelled to sit in front of the computer and search and learn from you. Around a few days before the fifth of August, my priorities shifted. I was moved more into the direct personal contact Zaadz couldn't offer. I think interaction here is like a tool for me to use to hone my perception of All, then carry it into the more personal, "get it on me" world I walk and live in. I love Zaadz. I love the intent of Zaadz. The people here have awesome energy to give. I've just not been motivated to stay here like I had been. In a way I feel guilty, a little bit, because I feel like I'm not living up to an obligation I started by sharing with the energy here. I'm sharing this with all because of the feeling to be whole. Finding balance in my life has been a job for me, and this is just part of balancing between the more outside world, and the more inside world.